Quit Looking Around

December 13, 2014 — 3 Comments
The eye is a gateway to the soul. Meaning, what you watch and keep your eyes on is what you will eventually begin to desire. I wouldn’t want to have what he/she has if I never even seen what they had. The eye is powerful. We all see certain things, but what you look at will either lift you up or destroy you! Contradiction? No. To see something is simply to perceive it, to notice something that presents itself in front of you. To look at something is to set your gaze on it, you are intentionally directing your eyes in it’s direction.
David was a king, but kings were still called to go out to war with their troops. However, the bible says David tarried back in Jerusalem (STRIKE 1). David then went walking in the evening on the roof of his palace and saw Bathsheba showering, then he noticed that she was beautiful (STRIKE 2). David asked about the woman and he was told that she was married, but he still sent for her (STRIKE 3). Now let’s go over these three strikes and you tell me if this isn’t still an issue to address.
1. David was not in position!
When you aren’t where God wants you, you are exactly where the devil wants you! It doesn’t matter if you aren’t “in sin”, but as long as you don’t go where God sends you, you’re wrong. Jonah was sent to Nineveh and went to Tarshish, God had to send a storm and a whale to swallow him. You see, there is nothing good happening when we aren’t doing what the King says to do. Many of are way too “grown” that not even God can tell us what to do. We go where we want, when we want, dress how we want and only if it’s convenient for our schedule that day. Before God made any of us, He knew every step we will make. So even though God’s plan was for David to be out at war, David didn’t do it and ended up committing adultery, making a baby and having a man murdered. All of that just because he didn’t decide to go. I’m grateful for mercy, because God could’ve cut David, or you and I, off the many times we’ve done similar things.
2. David was looking where he shouldn’t be looking!
I cannot say I’ve been to David’s house, so I will not say David always had a view of women showering, but the bible does show that David was looking intently. Maybe there weren’t overhead showers as we see today, but regardless we know the woman was showering with some form of water and she was naked (common sense). You cannot see someone’s beauty when they are in/under water. At some point she’s washing her face and other areas, which means he had to stare for quite a bit to be captivated by her curves and how looks after he spotted her. So it wasn’t a sin that he saw a naked woman, it became a sin when he decided to stare and desire her (Matthew 5:28). We have to understand, we will see sinful things daily, but we have the power over what we stop and focus on. You can unfollow that account, you can leave that area, you can block that number. Staying shows interest. It’s not easy, but sin is so accessible that it’s like you run from one thing to the next. However, you must guard your eyes in order to protect the anointing inside of you. 
3. David was warned!
David knew she was married and still had men bring her to him. Many bash Bathsheba, as if it was her intention to shower in front of men. The fact remains that David was the king, she had no choice but to go to him or risk her life. If you would’ve ignored the guards and be killed, I respect you, but let’s not allow a sin issue to cause us to point fingers at her. Just like David, we are all warned before we commit sin. If you have the Holy Ghost, there is no way God will make you feel comfortable out of His will. He will bother your conscience. Stop ignoring warning signs and the obvious truth because of your emotions. God forgives, but that is no excuse to disobey. God forgives, but you will have consequences for your actions. “I’m sorry, God. It won’t happen again” doesn’t turn away an STD, pregnancy, bitter bf/gf, a ruined testimony and a soul you may never lead to Christ after, etc. Don’t ignore the signs because you’re lonely.
Many of us like to play the blame game. I wouldn’t lust if they were wearing more clothing, but you don’t have to look. You can see something wrong/lustful and turn your head, but to look for it, search it, follow it on social media, etc. is proving you have the issue that needs to be dealt with. Don’t let your eyes get hooked on the devils bait. What you look at will destroy you if it will distract you from God’s will. Lusting after someone? It isn’t that you have an issue, God gave us all sex drives and the desire to want someone. The problem rises when you let your desire for something godly come out in the wrong context. So now instead of desiring sex in marriage, you find yourself filling your heart and mind with sexual gratification out of His will (pornography, masturbation, sending/receiving lustful messages/pictures).
Understand this, the devil cannot make you do anything. The enemy will only offer you what you desire and its up to you to decide whether to obey him or God. If I like short, he won’t send tall because he knows I’ll ignore it. Be careful of the desires you have in your heart because if you keep feeding yourself garbage your life will eventually begin to produce that. David may not have had a “lust” issue prior to that, but because he was not where he should have been and started looking where he shouldn’t have been looking, he fell. The one man in the bible considered to be after God’s heart committed adultery and purposefully had her husband killed, you can fall as well. Samson could be considered arrogant or foolish, but he was called by God. Your calling doesn’t make you invincible, you have to learn to put your feelings aside in order to be who you were called to be. The strongest man on the earth fell into sexual sin, you can too. Solomon was considered the wisest man to ever live, and still couldn’t get enough women in his life. If he had more wisdom than anyone may ever have, what makes me think I can’t stumble and lose sight of God?
Unless you’re focused on Jesus, you will (not maybe) drift away spiritually. It is our nature to sin, we must intentionally set our eyes on Jesus. Choose today to stop following pornography via social media. Call it as it is. If they are half naked, you don’t need to feed your spirit with it. You may know them, but that doesn’t mean you should allow social media to cause you to forget what God’s Word says: be holy (1 Peter 1:16), flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22), or set your affections on things above (Colossians 3:2).
No, I don’t live a perfect life….but that will not be an excuse to abuse grace. Guard your spirit, don’t allow your eyes to be sidetracked by things of this world. Peter walked on water when he was looking at Jesus, but began to drown when he looked at the storm. So many are drowning in sin right now because they stopped looking at God and started looking for spouses. How can we find love without God who is Love? Turn back to Him, don’t be enticed by their looks or words. Who God has for you will do more than say the right words, they will be following His Word! Quit looking around, you will die out of God’s will aiming for something that can only be found in Him. 
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. (Psalms 16:8)


Why Get Married?

December 7, 2014 — 11 Comments
I’m really not shocked by today’s divorce rate, neither am I shocked that “believers” are getting divorced. Why? I think many forgot the purpose of this sacred union and what God expects of them in the marriage. You see, it’s easy to say what the other person is doing wrong, but difficult to see the chaos you’re causing or your role. It’s easy to expect them to deliver your every need, but it’s also unrealistic to think when you’re saying “I do” that it now means the same as “I own you”. So what exactly is the purpose of marriage?
Let’s go over 5 things of what marriage is for and what it isn’t about.
1. Marriage is for God’s glory. 
If you ever read your bible or simply attended a church service, you should be well aware that the Bible is about God’s love for us. It’s sort of a romance novel of God coming to rescue His bride through His death on a cross. The love shown by Jesus is what God actually calls men to. A sacrificial love, one that is willing to do anything for the well being of his wife and those he is leading (kids for example). Ladies, take this into consideration before wasting your time. He has to be a man who will place the will of God first in his life and be a man who places others before himself. Men, allow God to mold you into His image . Don’t rush the process. You grow while married, but don’t pursue a woman when you’re pursuing selfish ambitions rather than His kingdom. 
2. Marriage is supposed to show the world God’s love. 
There are many broken homes in the world today. Not only do they have no idea that there is a God who loves them, they barely have others surrounding them to show them the way things should be. Many have single parent homes because one person just doesn’t want to be there, which is why we need Christian homes to show what it means to have examples of unconditional love, forgiveness and how to grow with someone for the rest of your life, not until you get bored.
3. Marriage is for your benefit.
God saw Adam and said it wasn’t good for him to be alone so he made Eve to help him. Eve was created to support him, rule with him, and to make his life easier (Genesis 2:18). God was being considerate because Adam could’ve wondered why animals were reproducing and felt left out for not having someone. Marriage is to build together. I don’t see why many run away from it, when God brings the right person to you and you both focus on Him, that type of love can never die.
4. Marriage is a ministry.
God is entrusting someone’s heart into your hands and future children, He doesn’t want you to neglect this responsibility. Marriage is to be invested into. You have to communicate, pray, study the word, have fun and remain intimate. God wants the home to be an unbroken bond, you have to be intentional about keeping God at the center and not allowing the world to pollute the home.
5. Marriage is to be protected.
It’s sad, but many people do flirt with married people (and vice versa). They won’t respect your home if you don’t. If you give the devil access, he will take it. Be careful of your “friends” who will use God’s name to subtly creep in and violate what God put together. Your spouse must be your best friend. Friends of the opposite sex shouldn’t ever cross certain boundaries or be the ones to influence your home. The bible tells wives to submit to their own husbands (Ephesians 5:22). With all do respect, but your pastor or favorite speaker is not the one leading your home. Which is why a man must be connected to God, because he is supposed to guide you in the way that God is calling you all.
What isn’t marriage about?
1. Marriage is NOT about sex.
I agree with Paul, if you can’t contain sexual urges it’s best to get married (1 Corinthians 7:9). However, if you’re only in it for sex, that’s the wrong motive. God wants you to control your urges now, fornication only leads to adultery. Marriage doesn’t cure lust. We will continue to lust, watch porn, masturbate and fall into sin if we don’t submit our urges and feelings under the hand of God. Put your flesh under subjection, follow Jesus not hormones.
2. Marriage is not about what you can get. 
Love has never been and will never be about what you gain. Jesus died out of love knowing that many will never even believe in Him and some of the ones who do will always struggle listening to Him. Love is giving, even if it isn’t reciprocated. God wants you to love each other even when you’re annoying each other. Marriage is sharpening one another. A wise man once said the “God uses the rough edges of your spouse to sharpen you.”
3. Marriage is not about saving your spouse.
This is regarding those who are Christians and then dating unsaved people. You can’t save anyone, let God work on their heart before you start dating them. Both of my parents met unsaved and both came to Jesus, they’ve been married for 25 years so far. I know others who have had unsaved people approach them and they said “get Jesus first” and after that person genuinely went to Jesus, they eventually worked out and are still married and happy now. But my point is this, anyone can fake or just get baptized in order to get you. Don’t let emotions lead you, follow God.
4. Marriage is not about social media. 
You may think this is a joke, but some people only want relationships because others are in one. They don’t really care if God is glorified, they just want to post pictures on social media so others see their “happiness”. Public Service Announcement, if others need to validate your life, you’re not happy. We need to seek God’s approval for our life and not what others think.
5. Marriage is not a competition.
Stop competing with the person God placed in your life to assist you. Stop competing with other couples and stay in your lane. You will die in either envy or jealousy if you keep focusing on other couples, focus on what God has for you.
These are just a few things to keep in mind whether you want to get married or you are already married. Don’t go with the wrong motives, God doesn’t answer selfish prayers. Grace and peace.


Dating your Distraction

November 22, 2014 — 10 Comments

“Should I be patient? We have our differences, but sometimes they can be so hurtful and I don’t know what I should do.”

“I know they don’t love God, but I feel as though I can lead them to Christ.”

“We only had sex once, he’s only touched my breast/butt while kissing, or she knows how to make me feel good. I still love God, so do you have any advice on how to start living pure again? I don’t want to leave him/her, I really care about them.”

These are all questions and similar stories I come across daily and I know God is directing me in addressing this through a blog so you won’t feel alone and we all can grow from this. After all, most of us have been in these situations, where we were either in love with, or attracted to our distraction. Here are some things to take into consideration when we find out our relationship isn’t heading towards God or we ever think about dating someone who isn’t going to help us spiritually.

1. Love doesn’t lead to sin, lust does.
So many ask “well, what are these warning signs I should be looking for”, if you are a Christian you will know when God isn’t pleased. The Holy Ghost inside of us should convict us of our actions, which is why the bible says to not allow our actions to grieve the Holy Spirit within us (Ephesians 4:30).
We all sin because of our human nature, but a lifestyle of sin is what God wants you to avoid. If you see that this person is consistently causing lust, anger, frustration and confusion, they are not from God. Don’t get me wrong, they may be a well known preacher… But if they’re not pushing you closer to God, they are a distraction. Don’t be fooled by a title when the fruit is rotten. 

2. God will not send you someone that is in a relationship/married!
Some of you may have laughed or thought to yourself just now “well duh, who thinks that?” You’d be surprised how many married people are cheating because they are “bored” or they’ve allowed a distraction from outside to subtly creep in and destroy their marriage. Once in the bible David met a beautiful woman by the name of Abigail, but she was married to a fool (no seriously, the bible called him foolish. See 1 Samuel 25). I wouldn’t say David was “plotting” on her all along and waiting to make a move, but it was obvious he saw her as a good choice for a spouse. The bible says that the Lord killed Nabal and David ended up marrying Abigail. NOW LISTEN, this statement isn’t to justify stealing spouses or praying for someone to die because of your lust. I’m simply sharing with you that if God wanted you with someone, He would make it happen. But to disrespect someones marriage is not only rude, but disrespectful to the God that united them. 

Never be a back-up plan. So many are in relationships and are having sideline friends that they flirt/run to when their relationship is not going well. Don’t listen to the “I’m going to break-up with him/her for you”. If they leave someone for you, they will leave you for someone else that they think is better.

3. They’re not saved but….
I wonder if we ever think about the bigger picture rather than our feelings. If someone isn’t following Jesus, they are going to hell. No sugar coating. You need to understand that if you two are going in opposite directions, there is no way for you to grow (Read Amos 3:3). You cannot walk with someone you don’t agree with. So the question isn’t how will you bring them to God, its are you following God? If you had faith in Him you would know to trust His timing. Picking up some unsaved person because you’re lonely shows that you listen to emotions more than God.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14). 

This verse was a command, not a suggestion. Many obey the verses that pacify our flesh or make our ego get bigger but ignore the ones that create friction with our lifestyle. You cannot serve God and date someone serving the devil. They may not be bowing to satan, but by default we are born in sin and in need of salvation, and hell will be where we go if we don’t accept God’s biblical plan of salvation (not the man made stuff).

You can’t change anyone, only God can. Focus on praying for them to be saved, rather than trying to date them to God. And don’t compromise to keep them, they won’t see the need for Christ if your actions reject him.

4. Serve God, not your memories.
So many stay in expired situations because of great history. Not everyone in your past deserves to be in your future. When God says let go, let go. You’ll understand later. Abraham was told to kill what God promised Him. Abraham would’ve done it, but God stopped him, many of us won’t even unfollow them on social media because we want to know if who they’re dating looks better than us. Many are being destroyed by themselves. Maybe they hurt you before, but you’re hurting yourself now by keeping your mind occupied on it even after they’ve left. You miss them, but you do not need them. You may feel empty, but you need God, not the person who led you into sin and hurt.

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).

5. You sometimes have to love them from a distance. 
No one likes to let go of what they like. You have to realize something though, God wouldn’t remove something from our life if it wasn’t deadly, useless, or He had something better to give. I know who I want in my life, but ultimately He knows who I need in my life.

There are some people in some of our lives that can take us out of God’s will with a text! That isn’t even a joke. You’d be surprised some of the texts and PICTURES you get when you’re trying to live a life of purity. You get a lot of negativity when God gives you a vision, even from those closest to you/family. Some people you just have to cut some ties with. Don’t be rude now, end it on good terms. But some numbers and people we follow need to be taken out of our life or they will always lead us back into a spiritual and emotional prison.

Don’t spend another day dating your distraction. Pray for them. And if you are the distraction, go and let God work on your heart. We sometimes point fingers and fail to accept our part in the dilemma. But my question to you today is, are you dating your distraction?